Mr. and Mrs. Gonsalves , a loving couple, had been living in their own home ever since Brigadier retired. He was 94years old and she was 85. He had served army quite a long time and she was a gifted artist and gallery owner and the homemaker for the family. Mrs. Gonsalves was diagnosed with arthritis but she insist going to their favourite Bangalore club for playing bridge. Brigadier and his wife, both frail, but they love to socialise, a habit from the Army days.
The couple’s daughters both live nearby. When the parents are very old, their children are naturally old. Here also both the ‘girls’, crossed 65 and they have their own health issues. Though both parents are frail, they don’t admit their frailty. Children have serious concerns and they anticipate falls, as both have gait issues. Daughters have approached us for a solution mainly to seek assistance to convince the parents to keep full time caregivers. Reasoning with the old people with stubborn nature is no easy task. Children miserably failed and that’s where we have to succeed. It was the couples doctor who called the daughters to express his concern and the doctor suggested to them better leave the issue to professionals like us. Read more to find how we tackled the nonagenarian, Brigadier.
Problem Areas Identified
- Very old parents not willing to admit the frailty
- Mind block for full time caregivers
- Fear of privacy intrusion
- Couple perfect for ageing in place
How We Helped
Our Care Consultant visited the couple at their home and discovered how tenuous their situation had become. There was no problem talking to them as they both love to engage in conversations. Again, the daughters never told the parents that we are social gerontologists, fearing rejection. Instead they told the councillor is their long time friend.
Councillor was able to broach the subject in the third sitting and she succeeded in the mission of conveying the pros and cons of having full time caregivers. Brigadier, after weighing the benefits felt that it make sense. We arranged two caregivers, one for each. They both had caregivers almost six years till their death.